Got big boobs? Been bra shopping in Newmarket, Auckland at Avocado? It’s a game changer.
Such a game changer, one of my dear friends from my Rotorua neighbourhood posse waved a finger at my girls and asked “What’s up with those girls?” My girls, FYI, were proudly on display (if I do say so myself) underneath a particularly clingy t-shirt. Of course, I whipped up my t-shirt, flashed her and said “I’ve got a new bra and it’s ah-mazing”. I’m that kind of friend. No holds barred. No shame. I’ll show you my boobs.
But first, the background. Despite being a shopaholic, the notion of tog, jeans and bra shopping fill me with dread. Togs, nuff said. Jeans,well, as a 5”1 curvy lass, finding something that fits my smallish waist, yet snugs my large ass whilst allowing me to sit down, and finish at the ankle sans hem amendment, was next to impossible (until JeansWest rescued me with their curve embracer range).
Bra shopping though, that’s next level soul-destroying. You seen I have big DD boobs, a small under-carriage, and I’m on an endless quest for bras with straps that aren’t ‘nana wide’ i.e. that don’t dig in and cause dented shoulders. Also, as someone who had a boob reduction, I have an overhanging bit of, erm, flab, under my arms. This, clearly, needs containing. Then there’s the bra trying on process: To be blunt, witnessing, first-hand my flabby tummy in full flight, knowing I should have gone for more early evening summer walks and turned down that second BBQ sausage… Yeah it’s not fun. Most of the time I’m content with my #inbetweenie* size, eyeballing my jiggly tummy at close range though: Not fun. (more…)
I did a shout out on my Facebook page on Wednesday saying I needed new jeans and asked:
“Where does a curvy midget go for jeans that a) Won’t require taking up and b) Won’t require online shopping (poor track record)?”
I also relayed in the post that “I might end up at Jeanswest, again”, and that “I might get curve embracer jeans, again”. However, I also said I was open to new ideas. I was bombarded with brilliant suggestions! Thank you! Overwhelmingly though, I got told “go back to Jeanswest and get curve embracer jeans!”
I went on a mini shopping trip recently to Mt Maunganui and Tauranga with my good friend (and shopping legend) Lisa. We were both keen to stock up on a few winter staples. For me that meant ankle boots and a winter coat to replace the stunning tailor-made 100% cashmere Armani rip-off coat I had made in Thailand 18 months ago for NZ$150 – i.e. the one that I lost… I’m still not over it.
I’m curvier at the moment than I’ve been for a while. I’m making no excuses, it’s my fault, end of story. Anyway, despite having a clear list of ‘wishes’ and the result of the trip being a very fruitful shopping expedition, I got really frustrated. Why? It, sucked (for lack of more articulate words) trying to pack my dinky-but-voluptuous size 14 (on a good day) hourglass frame into, well, most things I tried on. Lisa on the other hand, who has a figure to die for, along with some decent height on her, can wander into any clothes store, try on a paper bag and look glorious.
Look, big picture, the mission was a tonne of fun with my girlfriend. The outing was ruled a shopping success. However, as a petite lass, I spent the day pondering the frustrations of:
Being extremely vertically challenged (I’m 5″1, but I make up for my height with a big personality) and;
Having serious curves.
You see, this combo isn’t conducive to easy clothes shopping.
This is a real shame because, in all honesty, if I batted for the other team, frankly, I’d want a woman with some meat on her and, having had some very tall boyfriends in my time (one was 6″4, everyone took the piss out of us) I’d want someone a bit more compact. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt regarding neck strains gleaned from too much pucker-up” action, undertaken whilst standing. This is shame as I do enjoy a good “pucker up”.
So, what grinds my shopping gears, you ask?
Here’s my frustrations of shopping for my petite curviness: